It's my birthday, and I can be as ridiculous as I want.

Actual daydreamed conversation with Michael Jackson
(who really does have the same birthday as me):

Hey!... Michael!

Kristy!... It's great to see you!

I know! It's great to see you, too.

Wow... (giggle) it's been awhile. I haven't been in one of your daydreams for... ages.

Well, you know how I get sometimes... there's a lot of stuff running around in my head. Bills, boys, household chores... I forget to check in.

But you had to today. (Wink, big smile)

Yeah. I did have to today. (Big smile)

Happy Birthday, Kristy. (Hug)

Happy Birthday, Michael.

Now blowing through... Valentine's Day 2011

My Dearest VDB Fans: I give you this year's submission. Enjoy.


You know, when you stop to think about it, looking for love is a lot like playing golf. You can be competitive, dress the part, and know about all the best clubs, but none of that guarantees that you'll sink the shot. Even with the best intentions, things can get pretty rough out there on the green. And, unfortunately, that's just par for the course.

Whatever you do, don't stoop to ridiculous levels to compensate for your lack of skill. It's not worth the damage to your pride. Or the grass stains on your collared shirt.

Does Valentine's Day blow? You bet your astro-turf it does.

Many hugs,

Kristy

As always, feel free to post your questions/comments/concerns about my take on this delicate topic.

Valentines Day Blows 2010!

My friends,

In the game of love, many have gotten the red card. As always, to welcome the coming of our favorite, non-all-inclusive holiday, I'm sending a special, heart-felt message to you all. That's right, folks... in 2010, just as it has done since its inception one-thousand, five-hundred years ago, Valentine's Day continues to blow. Especially from the sidelines.

So, pick yourself up from the bench, drag yourself home, and hope you don't mess things up next time you make it to the playing field. Remember there's no "I" in "LOVE."

Go team.

Love,

Kristy

*All photographic content used in VDay Blows cards is appropriated (read: stolen) imagery and not property of card creator.

MORE VDAY BLOWS:
Concerns from Kristy's mother
VDay Blows 2009
VDay Blows 2003-2008

I think I've found my calling

I now know what I can do with a degree in art and a degree in teaching: Make super-creative homemade teaching materials! Why did it take me this long to think of it?! Ha! What did this cost me, you might ask? Nothing monetarily. No, not a dime. It works out pretty brilliantly for my wallet... just a couple of hours with a pair of scissors and some glue.


And the best part? The kids were all sorts of excited to play the game! They could barely wait to get their hands on the dice and tell me what time it said on the clock where they landed.

Teaching consists of: Lots of ingenuity. Lots of patience. Lots of carefully chosen words. And lots and lots of trickery. They're learning, but shhhhh, don't tell them.

The marriage of sign-making & teaching

Who would have dreamed that two years as a Trader Joe's sign artist would prepare me so well for a career of instructional classroom poster creation?

Well, it has. I have a student in particular that spurred the conception of these mini-posters. His tendency is to--immediately upon reaching the next problem in his worksheet or workbook--begin in a whiny voice, "Meeeeess, I don' ged eeet!... (that's 'Miss, I don't get it!...' with a Puerto Rican accent). Of course, this is before he even reads the directions, reads the question, looks for clues or patterns in the previous questions, etc. He just sees that he has to do some actual thinking, and he's learned that help comes running (i.e. thinking for himself becomes unnecessary) when he vocalizes confusion.



I'm trying to stop that behavior dead in its tracks. What don't you get, my little amigo? Articulate to me exactly how I can help you. Look, I even gave you a poster with some choices! He was grumbling a whole lot when I introduced these posters to the class. Old habits die hard, but my being consistent might make him start to think twice about asking before trying something himself. And that's ultimately what we want. :)

Whirls & curls and whirls of curls

Last night, after being told that today would be a snowday, I had some strange need to sketch my hair. I really could have done without the trouble of drawing the face, to tell the whole truth, but there it is anyway. I just happened to have some really fun curls that were whirling around in all different directions, and it was kind of fun how they framed my face. If you notice, the waves on one side of my face match the waves on the other side. I never noticed before last night! I know some of you may not think that it looks like I had fun drawing my whirly curls, by the rather vacant expression I've drawn... but let me assure you that smiling continuously for upwards of an hour can be taxing on the cheek muscles. That's why I try my darndest to smile with my eyes. Although, I guess I wasn't trying too hard to do that this particular time.

(Too much) fun with Photoshop

During my first art history class as an undergrad, I remember my professor mentioning that the famous Italian Renaissance painter Raphael was "quite the looker" and pretty popular with the ladies of the 1500's. I'll admit, with only the above self portrait to serve as a testimony, I was a little doubtful that this could have possibly been the case. I mean, it's hard to imagine he would have made it much past the first date with hair like that.

Still, always one to seek scientific proof, I had to wonder whether a sort of twenty-first century makeover would level the playing field a bit. So, one night in my dorm room (and I'm sure I was putting off a paper on symbolism in Byzantine mosaics or something like that) I gave the guy a sweatshirt and some ghetto head-wear, and voilà! I turned him into college-Kristy's ideal, basketball-playing, dreamboat stud.

But upon unearthing this oldie from 2004, I decided that it still wasn't enough. I mean, what was cute in high school and college just doesn't fly anymore. So tonight, to perform the ultimate test of historical hunkability, I updated Raphael's look to cater to the mid-twenties, early-thirties, young professional crowd. And, you know what? I believe it now. That guy was attractive. To think, I was about to let the beret and pageboy look convince me otherwise. It's a darn good thing I'm commited to scientific testing and have a thirst for discovering the truth.

Just goes to show how very much a bad haircut and poor choices in accessorizing could potentially cost you your dating life.