Valentine's Day Blows 2012

Hello and welcome to another year of Valentine's Day Blows! You've been waiting for this moment, admit it. This is also potentially my last year, as this is my tenth year. All good things must come to an end.

To those who are Valentine-less:
To you it may seem that nearly everyone's refrigerator these days has had a virtual nuclear explosion of save-the-date magnets wallpapering the exterior. Yes, it's true, love has dropped from the heavens and detonated, a mushroom cloud of affection billowing ominously in the distance. If the heat and pressure wave don't get to you, the radiation will. Eventually.

But before you recoil in terror at the sheer number of weddings you'll be attending this year alone, remember this: Love is all about giving. All those people will be giving back to you when it's your turn, and that Kitchenaid stand-up mixer you've always wanted will be yours. If anyone's still alive after the smoke clears, that is.

So take heart, chin up, and better luck next year. Unless the world really does end in 2012. Then you're screwed.

(Hey, it might.)

Atomically epic hugs,

K

Now blowing through... Valentine's Day 2011

My Dearest VDB Fans: I give you this year's submission. Enjoy.


You know, when you stop to think about it, looking for love is a lot like playing golf. You can be competitive, dress the part, and know about all the best clubs, but none of that guarantees that you'll sink the shot. Even with the best intentions, things can get pretty rough out there on the green. And, unfortunately, that's just par for the course.

Whatever you do, don't stoop to ridiculous levels to compensate for your lack of skill. It's not worth the damage to your pride. Or the grass stains on your collared shirt.

Does Valentine's Day blow? You bet your astro-turf it does.

Many hugs,

Kristy

As always, feel free to post your questions/comments/concerns about my take on this delicate topic.

Valentines Day Blows 2010!

My friends,

In the game of love, many have gotten the red card. As always, to welcome the coming of our favorite, non-all-inclusive holiday, I'm sending a special, heart-felt message to you all. That's right, folks... in 2010, just as it has done since its inception one-thousand, five-hundred years ago, Valentine's Day continues to blow. Especially from the sidelines.

So, pick yourself up from the bench, drag yourself home, and hope you don't mess things up next time you make it to the playing field. Remember there's no "I" in "LOVE."

Go team.

Love,

Kristy

*All photographic content used in VDay Blows cards is appropriated (read: stolen) imagery and not property of card creator.

MORE VDAY BLOWS:
Concerns from Kristy's mother
VDay Blows 2009
VDay Blows 2003-2008

Angst-ridden, dorm room art

Ah, nothing quite like unrequited college love to inspire some angsty plight worthy of art-creation. All of the pieces in this entry are hanging on my wall in my room right now. Okay, I lied. One of them fell down, but it will be hanging up someday when I find the ganas* to hang it back up again. I think this first two-part one was the very first of my anti-valentine art. So that places it in 2003... oooh, but it says I was 20 years old. So maybe we're talkin' 2002 here. Sweet.And this green one below just makes me feel sad to really look at it. All the heartbreak and misery sure did make for a fun little art project, though. At least it was good for something, right?


*Lest you think that ganas are hooks for wall fixtures, I will tell you that they are not. Gana in Spanish means "wish/desire/will." I adopted the word into my English vocabulary years ago because my brain keeps trying to structure sentences involving it... so I gave in. To have ganas means to feel like doing something. To find ganas... well, I just assume that it's something kinda like having them, only you don't start out with them to begin with.

And, speaking of, I have a whole LOT of ganas right now to go to bed, so that's what I'm going to do.

Some clarification

My mother called today and talked to me about this project of mine: "I hope you're not really as sad as it seems like you are in your Valentine's Day Blows cards. It's a little extreme, isn't it? People are going to think you're depressed." May I assure all of you that I usually am grinning from ear to ear as I make these cards. I find the concept that Valentine's Day "blows" to be really hilarious. Please know that I am not a bitter or sad person. I just think this is funny.

Valentine's Day Blows 2009

As the years pass, one thing's for sure. Valentine's Day continues to blow. And it's a darn good thing, too, because what would I do if it didn't all of a sudden? I look forward to it. I count on it. My hopes, since adjusting my expectations to a lower altitude, have not once been dashed. And, heck, it's funny. Happy day of chocolates and heart-shaped things to all of you.

Many hugs,

Kristy

Valentine's Day Blows: Years Past

For a little review, I have included all of the years of anti-valentines that I have concocted over the years, starting with 2003 and marching proudly forward to the present. Unfortunately, I could never market any of these unless I actually captured the images myself (instead of stealing them from the internet), or drew or painted my own scenes. Actually, I prefer the term "appropriating" to stealing; it's what the Dadaists and Pop artists used.

Valentine's Day Blows 2003
This was the one that started it all.
There is something funny about Dizzy Gilespie.

Valentine's Day Blows 2003 Part Deux.
But then I thought a kid playing trombone would "blow" more.
It's more likely to sound bad.
And the kid is more likely to not want to be playing it.

Valentine's Day Blows 2004

Really, what blows more than a hurricane?

Valentine's Day Blows 2005
This is the one that makes me the most proud.

Valentine's Day Blows 2006
Colds certainly blow. We pass germs out like valentines.
I felt pretty clever after I made this one, too.


Valentine's Day Blows 2007
This one is actually also one that makes me exceedingly proud.
We happened to have a huge snow storm that year,
so people weren't leaving flower bouquets on windshields.
They were finding windshields.


Valentine's Day Blows 2008
Quality dipped a lot this year.
This guy's face pretty much sums up my feelings
on the effort involved in this last card.

Valentine's Day Blows Every Year.

Fortunately, it never fails to disappoint. It never fails to deliver. Yes, I'd like one NON all-inclusive holiday, please... um, let's see... with a side of, uh, loneliness, and... just a dash of self-doubt. On whole wheat. Hold the cheese, thanks. I'm vegan.

I have to drudge up some of the Valentine's Day Blows creations from years past and post them here too. Please keep in mind that these are not my images. I'm just photoshopping stock photography. If I were to market and sell these, I'd have to take my own pictures. As for this year, I don't have a party favor, a cupcake with a candle, or a depressed businessman in a suit and tie hanging around my apartment. I simply make do with what I have.

I'm not actually bitter. This theme just cracks me up. I may start a simultaneous "Valentine's Day Sucks" card one of these years...