Valentine's Day Blows 2012

Hello and welcome to another year of Valentine's Day Blows! You've been waiting for this moment, admit it. This is also potentially my last year, as this is my tenth year. All good things must come to an end.

To those who are Valentine-less:
To you it may seem that nearly everyone's refrigerator these days has had a virtual nuclear explosion of save-the-date magnets wallpapering the exterior. Yes, it's true, love has dropped from the heavens and detonated, a mushroom cloud of affection billowing ominously in the distance. If the heat and pressure wave don't get to you, the radiation will. Eventually.

But before you recoil in terror at the sheer number of weddings you'll be attending this year alone, remember this: Love is all about giving. All those people will be giving back to you when it's your turn, and that Kitchenaid stand-up mixer you've always wanted will be yours. If anyone's still alive after the smoke clears, that is.

So take heart, chin up, and better luck next year. Unless the world really does end in 2012. Then you're screwed.

(Hey, it might.)

Atomically epic hugs,

K

It's my birthday, and I can be as ridiculous as I want.

Actual daydreamed conversation with Michael Jackson
(who really does have the same birthday as me):

Hey!... Michael!

Kristy!... It's great to see you!

I know! It's great to see you, too.

Wow... (giggle) it's been awhile. I haven't been in one of your daydreams for... ages.

Well, you know how I get sometimes... there's a lot of stuff running around in my head. Bills, boys, household chores... I forget to check in.

But you had to today. (Wink, big smile)

Yeah. I did have to today. (Big smile)

Happy Birthday, Kristy. (Hug)

Happy Birthday, Michael.

Now blowing through... Valentine's Day 2011

My Dearest VDB Fans: I give you this year's submission. Enjoy.


You know, when you stop to think about it, looking for love is a lot like playing golf. You can be competitive, dress the part, and know about all the best clubs, but none of that guarantees that you'll sink the shot. Even with the best intentions, things can get pretty rough out there on the green. And, unfortunately, that's just par for the course.

Whatever you do, don't stoop to ridiculous levels to compensate for your lack of skill. It's not worth the damage to your pride. Or the grass stains on your collared shirt.

Does Valentine's Day blow? You bet your astro-turf it does.

Many hugs,

Kristy

As always, feel free to post your questions/comments/concerns about my take on this delicate topic.

Valentines Day Blows 2010!

My friends,

In the game of love, many have gotten the red card. As always, to welcome the coming of our favorite, non-all-inclusive holiday, I'm sending a special, heart-felt message to you all. That's right, folks... in 2010, just as it has done since its inception one-thousand, five-hundred years ago, Valentine's Day continues to blow. Especially from the sidelines.

So, pick yourself up from the bench, drag yourself home, and hope you don't mess things up next time you make it to the playing field. Remember there's no "I" in "LOVE."

Go team.

Love,

Kristy

*All photographic content used in VDay Blows cards is appropriated (read: stolen) imagery and not property of card creator.

MORE VDAY BLOWS:
Concerns from Kristy's mother
VDay Blows 2009
VDay Blows 2003-2008

I think I've found my calling

I now know what I can do with a degree in art and a degree in teaching: Make super-creative homemade teaching materials! Why did it take me this long to think of it?! Ha! What did this cost me, you might ask? Nothing monetarily. No, not a dime. It works out pretty brilliantly for my wallet... just a couple of hours with a pair of scissors and some glue.


And the best part? The kids were all sorts of excited to play the game! They could barely wait to get their hands on the dice and tell me what time it said on the clock where they landed.

Teaching consists of: Lots of ingenuity. Lots of patience. Lots of carefully chosen words. And lots and lots of trickery. They're learning, but shhhhh, don't tell them.

The marriage of sign-making & teaching

Who would have dreamed that two years as a Trader Joe's sign artist would prepare me so well for a career of instructional classroom poster creation?

Well, it has. I have a student in particular that spurred the conception of these mini-posters. His tendency is to--immediately upon reaching the next problem in his worksheet or workbook--begin in a whiny voice, "Meeeeess, I don' ged eeet!... (that's 'Miss, I don't get it!...' with a Puerto Rican accent). Of course, this is before he even reads the directions, reads the question, looks for clues or patterns in the previous questions, etc. He just sees that he has to do some actual thinking, and he's learned that help comes running (i.e. thinking for himself becomes unnecessary) when he vocalizes confusion.



I'm trying to stop that behavior dead in its tracks. What don't you get, my little amigo? Articulate to me exactly how I can help you. Look, I even gave you a poster with some choices! He was grumbling a whole lot when I introduced these posters to the class. Old habits die hard, but my being consistent might make him start to think twice about asking before trying something himself. And that's ultimately what we want. :)

Whirls & curls and whirls of curls

Last night, after being told that today would be a snowday, I had some strange need to sketch my hair. I really could have done without the trouble of drawing the face, to tell the whole truth, but there it is anyway. I just happened to have some really fun curls that were whirling around in all different directions, and it was kind of fun how they framed my face. If you notice, the waves on one side of my face match the waves on the other side. I never noticed before last night! I know some of you may not think that it looks like I had fun drawing my whirly curls, by the rather vacant expression I've drawn... but let me assure you that smiling continuously for upwards of an hour can be taxing on the cheek muscles. That's why I try my darndest to smile with my eyes. Although, I guess I wasn't trying too hard to do that this particular time.

(Too much) fun with Photoshop

During my first art history class as an undergrad, I remember my professor mentioning that the famous Italian Renaissance painter Raphael was "quite the looker" and pretty popular with the ladies of the 1500's. I'll admit, with only the above self portrait to serve as a testimony, I was a little doubtful that this could have possibly been the case. I mean, it's hard to imagine he would have made it much past the first date with hair like that.

Still, always one to seek scientific proof, I had to wonder whether a sort of twenty-first century makeover would level the playing field a bit. So, one night in my dorm room (and I'm sure I was putting off a paper on symbolism in Byzantine mosaics or something like that) I gave the guy a sweatshirt and some ghetto head-wear, and voilà! I turned him into college-Kristy's ideal, basketball-playing, dreamboat stud.

But upon unearthing this oldie from 2004, I decided that it still wasn't enough. I mean, what was cute in high school and college just doesn't fly anymore. So tonight, to perform the ultimate test of historical hunkability, I updated Raphael's look to cater to the mid-twenties, early-thirties, young professional crowd. And, you know what? I believe it now. That guy was attractive. To think, I was about to let the beret and pageboy look convince me otherwise. It's a darn good thing I'm commited to scientific testing and have a thirst for discovering the truth.

Just goes to show how very much a bad haircut and poor choices in accessorizing could potentially cost you your dating life.

Angst-ridden, dorm room art

Ah, nothing quite like unrequited college love to inspire some angsty plight worthy of art-creation. All of the pieces in this entry are hanging on my wall in my room right now. Okay, I lied. One of them fell down, but it will be hanging up someday when I find the ganas* to hang it back up again. I think this first two-part one was the very first of my anti-valentine art. So that places it in 2003... oooh, but it says I was 20 years old. So maybe we're talkin' 2002 here. Sweet.And this green one below just makes me feel sad to really look at it. All the heartbreak and misery sure did make for a fun little art project, though. At least it was good for something, right?


*Lest you think that ganas are hooks for wall fixtures, I will tell you that they are not. Gana in Spanish means "wish/desire/will." I adopted the word into my English vocabulary years ago because my brain keeps trying to structure sentences involving it... so I gave in. To have ganas means to feel like doing something. To find ganas... well, I just assume that it's something kinda like having them, only you don't start out with them to begin with.

And, speaking of, I have a whole LOT of ganas right now to go to bed, so that's what I'm going to do.

Some clarification

My mother called today and talked to me about this project of mine: "I hope you're not really as sad as it seems like you are in your Valentine's Day Blows cards. It's a little extreme, isn't it? People are going to think you're depressed." May I assure all of you that I usually am grinning from ear to ear as I make these cards. I find the concept that Valentine's Day "blows" to be really hilarious. Please know that I am not a bitter or sad person. I just think this is funny.

Valentine's Day Blows 2009

As the years pass, one thing's for sure. Valentine's Day continues to blow. And it's a darn good thing, too, because what would I do if it didn't all of a sudden? I look forward to it. I count on it. My hopes, since adjusting my expectations to a lower altitude, have not once been dashed. And, heck, it's funny. Happy day of chocolates and heart-shaped things to all of you.

Many hugs,

Kristy

Valentine's Day Blows: Years Past

For a little review, I have included all of the years of anti-valentines that I have concocted over the years, starting with 2003 and marching proudly forward to the present. Unfortunately, I could never market any of these unless I actually captured the images myself (instead of stealing them from the internet), or drew or painted my own scenes. Actually, I prefer the term "appropriating" to stealing; it's what the Dadaists and Pop artists used.

Valentine's Day Blows 2003
This was the one that started it all.
There is something funny about Dizzy Gilespie.

Valentine's Day Blows 2003 Part Deux.
But then I thought a kid playing trombone would "blow" more.
It's more likely to sound bad.
And the kid is more likely to not want to be playing it.

Valentine's Day Blows 2004

Really, what blows more than a hurricane?

Valentine's Day Blows 2005
This is the one that makes me the most proud.

Valentine's Day Blows 2006
Colds certainly blow. We pass germs out like valentines.
I felt pretty clever after I made this one, too.


Valentine's Day Blows 2007
This one is actually also one that makes me exceedingly proud.
We happened to have a huge snow storm that year,
so people weren't leaving flower bouquets on windshields.
They were finding windshields.


Valentine's Day Blows 2008
Quality dipped a lot this year.
This guy's face pretty much sums up my feelings
on the effort involved in this last card.

A former version of Kristy

Before this image erases itself completely through the destructive forces of intra-notebook page friction, I thought it a good idea to post it here. I made it four years ago when I first arrived in Madrid and was having an awfully hard time adjusting to the task of communicating in Spanish... I became nearly mute for awhile. Estoy tímida aquí. I am shy here. It was a lot better-looking (clearer, less-blurry lines and shapes, more white space) when I first drew it, of course. I wanted to save it because I've always thought it had a kind of arresting sadness. A little surprising, even. But maybe only because it's like making eye contact with a past self. A former version of Kristy.

Also note: Partially-drawn, black Old Navy flip-flop on my foot.

The word "jalopy"

The word-play is the best part. The drawing... well, the drawing only really becomes fun for me when it's clear that I'm going to like how it turns out. So much for "life's a journey, not a destination." Sorry, Steven Tyler.

Mis amigos, los pajaritos

Left to my own devices, I sometimes gravitate towards drawing. Sometimes. And so it happened, that one day this summer in el Parque Tayrona in Santa Marta, Colombia (undoubtedly the most beautiful place I have been in my entire life), that I encountered some pajaritos (little birds) worth sketching. They were a little ugly and scrawny and crow-like, but that's what made them so appealing.


The only problem was that they kept moving. They turned their heads from side to side like paranoid pedestrians crossing a busy street. And then they all flew away and didn't come back. So I eventually settled on drawing the wooden parrot hanging from the ceiling of the breakfast hut.


Here is the breakfast hut.


And here is my breakfast. Ten-thousand Colombian pesos... which is like five dollars. But it was really damn good fruit. Banana, watermelon, pineapple, cantaloupe, and papaya. Excellent drawing fuel, for sure.

New sketchbook, new stuff

In case you thought I had completely left this blog for dead, I hadn't. Or maybe you thought I died. I'll tell you, if these past few months haven't killed me, nothing will. No, I've been very much alive, in fact, but I simply had to pretend that I didn't exist for awhile, while I was finishing up this last semester of grad school. After I emailed that last research paper, I could feel the weight lift off my shoulders. It was absolutely amazing. I've been floating around, humming Christmas songs, smiling at strangers, making small talk with inanimate objects... The new-found freedom that no homework brings has made me so happy I could burst. And my lovely roomie bought me a new sketchbook.

On the first page, I found myself drawing a hug. I say "found myself" + artistic action + -ing because I never really plan what I'm going to do before I put my pencil, pen, writing implement, or what-have-you to the paper. All I can say about the choice of subject matter is that I really like hugs. Everything about them. Really. (Unless the other person smells.) They pop up in my drawing sometimes. Okay, often. Pretty often. Maybe I'll start up a series. At any rate, I don't know these people. They just happened to wander out of my pencil tip.


On page four of the new sketchbook, I wound up drawing a girl whose face just wouldn't come out the way I wanted. In fact, it was mucking up the whole rest of the otherwise nice image. So I took the sucker out. I didn't worry about it being pretty at first, I just wanted to stop looking at it and get it off the page. I now happen to like the drawing a whole lot. I think it's got much more character without a head.


... which then got my roommate posing the idea that I start drawing pictures of people with funny objects instead of heads. Has this been done? I'm sure it has. Maybe not for the same reasons... But it makes sense, you know? I feel so much more confident drawing when I don't have to worry about a head. It's like women's fashion. We're always covering what we don't want you to see.

Oodles of Doodles

The most creative I have been visually as of late, has been by way of my occasional(1) travels through La-la Land and Doodlesville. Okay, well, I listen while I draw, you know. I honestly do. But far be it from me to suppress a drawing implement in my own hand. Let it go, I say. Let it go... And lest you think that this is evidence of me being bored in class, allow me to assure you that I am the biggest linguistics nerd ever, so I actually love learning this stuff.



Someday, I'm sure there will be a way of combining my two loves: Words and creativity. For now, I must make do with sentence trees and funny words and earrings that keep trying to fall out of friends' ears.

My student actually did send me a few more postcards that are not posted here.

(1) Travel through La-la Land is less "occasional" than it is "habitual."

Another postcard

I didn't receive a postcard last week from my student, so that was a little disappointing, but I think I'll make it. I still made mine, though, and I had a lot of fun drawing this one. I had to make up all the lighting out of my head because I was sitting in a cafe and sipping iced tea, and not staring at an open window with cuddling mice. And, well, I moved to a secondary location after cafe number one closed for the night. Cafe two is open for an additional couple of hours, so I had a decaf coffee with soy (not iced this time), finished up the drawing, and dove back into my new sudoku addiction. I have a very addictive personality. Someday, I hope to be addicted to drawing. Or painting. Or [insert other creative outlet here].

For real. I hope so.

I can has cheezburger?

Oh, and... if you've never been to the site I Can Has Cheezburger?...


... it's time to check it out. When I go to this site, it causes me to lose sleep because I can't stop looking at the entries and laughing. Like, I'm talking hours of my life here. I decided to try one of my own when I came across a demonic picture of my deceased kitty (who was actually not at all demonic, except for once in a great while, when he would mess with my sister and attack her ankles when she tried to walk... only her, though).

Dang, I miss that little guy. He was a hoot. Rest in peace, my little, fluffy, devil-cat friend.

This summer's "The Postcard Project"

I came up with this idea to keep in touch with a student of mine through blank postcards. Both sides are blank. I figured it would inspire both of us to be verbally and visually creative this summer. Here is what has transpired so far...

Postcards that I sent to her:

This first one was inspired by my parents
giving me fresh strawberries from their garden.
Number two was not all that exciting.
In the midst of my grad school frenzy, I missed a week and apologized.
Postcards three and four were sent together. They look weird separately...
... but when you put them side to side (either side)
they complete each other.
(Yeah, I was pretty impressed with myself, too.)
Number five is my favorite by far.
And also happens to be the one that I drew today.
It just looks so... rainy afternoonish.

Postcards that she sent to me:

This girl is twelve and she can really draw a mean picture.
Her expertise lies in design and pattern, I think.
She always creates very decorative additions to drawings.
She actually made the other sides of the postcards
(with the writing and the address) really beautiful as well.
It's really too bad that I am not posting that side for you guys to see.

These next two postcards make use of 3D stickers.
Nice touch!

May I also mention that she is really good at drawing palm trees.
... and musical instruments, too! I really loved getting this one.

Postcard that I sent to a different student:

(Also created today)
I was feeling a little whimsical and rhyme-y.

Hopefully, this student writes me back too.

I gave her a few blank postcards as well, in case the mood struck her.

So that is that for now. I will try to keep this updated with the newest postcards as they are sent out/come in. I have not fallen completely off the face of the planet art-wise. I just have been doing other things with my creativity.